


Just A Kid (ad'ika)

by nibeul



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: CT-7567 | Rex Needs a Hug, Clone Troopers Speak Mando'a (Star Wars), Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt CT-7567 | Rex, Mando'a Language (Star Wars), Mentioned Pong Krell, Post-Episode: s04e07 Darkness on Umbara
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:47:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29112552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nibeul/pseuds/nibeul
Summary: “You’re not being fair, Rex.” Cody replied, and Rex continued to stare at the ground like it was suddenly the most interesting thing in the world. Cody was right, like he normally was, but Rex was stubborn. He pressed on, hands balling into fists against the cold tile beneath him, no doubt rendering his knuckles white underneath his gloves.“And Krell tearing through my men was fair?” He snapped back, shutting his eyes tight before opening them once more. The knot in his stomach was growing. He wanted to throw-up. “Do you know what it’s like to watch a jetii cut through brothers like nothing? I shot vod’e because of that monster—” He felt himself choke up, but he didn’t stop, swallowing the bump with a hiss. “Do you know what it’s like to fail your men on such a catastrophic level that you’re shooting at your own troops? None of that was fair to them—I can’t just forget that Kote, for fuck’s sake!”
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody & CT-7567 | Rex, No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 104





	Just A Kid (ad'ika)

_CT-2389:_ ** _KIA._** _CT-4390:_ ** _KIA._** _CT-1383:_ ** _KIA._** _CT-2334:_ ** _KIA_** **.**

The list continued with each scroll of a gloved thumb, white numbers reading out across the blue screen in an endless loop. Rex couldn’t move.

It’d been eight hours since the 501st had been pulled off Umbara, nine since Kenobi and Cody had arrived at the airbase for their final debrief. Rex had stayed across the table from the duo, ignoring the worried glance his _ori'_ _ vod _ cast him when he felt himself falter. He’d kept his helmet at his hip, expression set, and walls up when he gave his report, forcing his tone to remain cool and collected. It was just like every other debrief they’d had, monotone and to the point despite the pain packed behind it. He didn’t remember what he’d said now, but it wasn’t like it mattered; the look on Kenobi’s face then told him enough. 

_ “I’m so sorry, Rex.”  _ The apology earned nothing more than a curt nod from the Captain, and when they were done, he’d shoved his bucket back on his head, pointedly ignoring the critical look from Cody that followed his back after he retreated to the landing pads. When he’d boarded the LAAT, he was Torrent Company’s commanding officer. That’s all his men would see; the leader who’d stuck with them through it all, the one who’d inspired them and led the charge against the monster they’d called their  _ General _ , however brief that time was. He was their Captain. CT-7567 did not  _ break _ . 

It was different when Rex was sitting in his quarters, knuckles white from gripping the datapad so hard that he thought it might shatter. He was alone this time, the paperwork he’d been trying to complete barely a quarter of the way done. He’d left his troopers to themselves hours ago; his rank had its occasional perks, but crumbling in front of his men was not one of them. Having his own quarters, however, was. At least they didn’t have to see him fall apart.

Rex didn’t even budge when the door slid open, warm light pouring into the dark room he’d been huddled in since he’d made it back on  _ the Resolute _ . He didn’t have to turn his head to see who it was.

“Rex.”

“Go away.” He mumbled, ignoring the way his breath hitched in his throat when he spoke. There was a pause from the other end, and for a moment, he thought Cody might’ve actually listened to him, though the soft clacking of plastoid tapping against itself soon proved that wrong. The door shut with a hiss, and Cody lowered himself by Rex’s side, picking one of the various datapads strewn about off the ground without a word. Rex watched him, eyes tracking the movement before he closed them and pressed his palm to his cheekbone.

“I thought you were on _the_ _Negotiator, Kote_.” Cody didn’t look up.

“I was going to be. But, Kenobi and I agreed that I would be of more use here.” Rex stared at him then let out a dry laugh, rubbing the bridge of his nose between his pointer and thumb.  _ What, to sit here and judge me? _ Came the bitter thought, even if he knew that was the furthest from Cody’s intentions. His brother just hummed in response anyways, eyes continuing to flicker over the screen in hand. 

The sour voice didn’t leave his head, nor did the guilt knotting itself in his stomach. He should’ve listened to Fives—to Kix, to Jesse, hell, all of them. Anyone with more than an ounce of common sense knew that Krell was bad news, including himself, yet he ignored it. And now, so many men were dead because of his oversight, some not even his own. Hardcase, Waxer, Dogma… He’d failed his men. Every single one of them. He’d failed them all. He knew that well enough, and Cody probably did too, even if he didn’t say it out loud. The silence the room had plunged into was deafening, and he bit his lip, looking at his older brother for the eventually berating that would come. It didn’t.

“Aren’t you going to say something?” Cody looked up again when Rex finally spoke, breaking away from the datapad that he’d seemingly been glued to for the past ten? Twenty? minutes. A closer look brought the realization that Cody had been doing some of his paperwork while he was busy wallowing away in self-pity, and Rex’s hesitated, then broke his gaze. He couldn’t look Cody in the eyes. 

“Do you want me to say something?” It was enough to cause Rex to pause, his words dying in his throat while Cody’s gaze bore into him. Cody didn’t go back to his datapad this time, waiting patiently for a response that Rex didn’t know how to formulate. Something twisted in his chest and he pressed his forehead to his knee, the feeling of shame overwhelming. What was he supposed to say? What was he supposed to do?

“How?” He managed to get out, and Cody raised an eyebrow. 

“How what?” 

“How do you act so indifferent?” It wasn’t what he wanted to say. There were a million other things that had raced through his mind, but that’s all he could choke out, the guilt and resentment boiling over as Rex reached his breaking point. He ran with it, unable to turn his train of thought to something else, and all the negative emotions that had been building up suddenly poured themselves out before him for Cody to see. “How can you just sit there like nothing even happened? Some of them were  _ your _ men too,  _ Kote _ . What about Waxer? Didn’t he mean something to you?” 

Oh, he stepped over a line with that one, but Cody’s expression barely changed. There was another long pause where Cody was slightly taken aback, but he responded anyways, his voice firm though still much softer than Rex’s accusation had been.

“You’re not being fair, Rex.” Cody replied, and Rex continued to stare at the ground like it was suddenly the most interesting thing in the world. Cody was right, like he normally was, but Rex was stubborn. He pressed on, hands balling into fists against the cold tile beneath him, no doubt rendering his knuckles white underneath his gloves. 

“And Krell tearing through my men was fair?” He snapped back, shutting his eyes tight before opening them once more. The knot in his stomach was growing. He wanted to throw-up. “Do you know what it’s like to watch a  _ jetii _ cut through brothers like nothing? I shot  _ vod’e _ because of that  _ monster _ —” He felt himself choke up, but he didn’t stop, swallowing the bump with a hiss. “Do you know what it’s like to fail your men on such a catastrophic level that you’re shooting at your own troops? None of that was  _ fair _ to them—I can’t just  _ forget _ that  _ Kote _ , for fuck’s sake!”

Cody’s looked at him with a grim, saddened expression, and it just made Rex want to deck him even more. “Rex, that wasn’t your fault—”

“ _ Shut up _ .”

  
  
“Rex—”

  
  
“ _ SHUT UP! _ ” And when Rex lunged forward, Cody caught him by the forearm, narrowly avoiding the punch that would’ve slammed into his jaw had his reflexes been any slower. The datapads they’d both been holding clattered to the ground, the sound masked by their grunts as they grappled with each other, though one was clearly winning. Rex struggled against the grip on his wrists—he didn’t really, but he tried anyways—straining as Cody wrestled him back, and suddenly, strong arms were wrapped around his torso, plastoid pressed against plastoid to keep Rex pinned. He took in a shaky breath, his nails digging into Cody’s armor, but the other didn’t budge, and his fighting slowly devolved from there. Cody didn’t comment when Rex’s string of curses broke off into a broken sob, white, hot tears rolling down his cheeks and splatting onto the ground. He shuddered, his stifled punches coiling into a tight grip as he clung onto Cody like his life depended on it.

“I failed them.. I failed them.”

“Hush,  _ rex’ika _ . You didn’t fail anyone.” 

Rex shook his head against Cody’s neck, the sting of salt pricking his face a welcome change to the nothingness he’d been feeling before. When was the last time he’d cried like this?

“I’m sorry,  _ kote _ .” He croaked, and Cody gave him a reassuring squeeze. It hurt—all of it did, but Rex needed him now, and Cody was ok with that. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Kudos, comments, and uhh, all that are appreciated. This is my first time posting here so yeah lmao 


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